Father of the Bride Speech for Miriam

Miriam and Taylor were finally able to get married in the Melbourne Temple on Saturday 31st August 2021 after two previously cancelled dates, due to Covid 19 related lockdowns. Orginally they had planned to have about 88 people at the wedding but under the restrictions they were only allowed to have 50 there. We only had nine days between lockdowns in which they could get married!

So, what comes below is fairly close to my Father of the Bride Speech -

On behalf of the entire Ceff family (all 7 of us!), I'd like to welcome you all here today and thank you for coming. Being in the "top 50" you can feel pretty good about yourselves! You're in Mim and Taylors top 50 most important people in their lives.

I'd like to thank Morry and Joelle and family for the preparation of the venue today and also like very much to thank the venue owners here for getting ready for us all on such short notice. Apparently it's the shortest time they've ever had to get ready for a wedding! Well done everyone!

Poor Miriam and Taylor. As you you all know, they were originally meant to get married on June 19 this year.  Then they were meant to get married on July 24. They were getting all sorts of suggestions, like why don't you elope etc. But the fact was in lockdown, weddings were banned and you couldn't go more than 5klm. So, no eloping was possible. The most important thing is that they wanted to, and now have been, sealed and married in the Temple, for time and for all eternity. The ring ceremony here tops it all off, having more family and friends, all of you, with them.

Miriam always wanted to get married in the Temple. This was something that she would not compromise on. She has developed great faith in the Saviour and His promises and put that above the pressures of society, to do things in a way different to what God would prefer us to do. And in meeting Taylor, she found someone who was on the same page, and would only do what he knew to be the best way to get married. This is something they have both learned from a young age and have held close to their hearts. What is the point in getting married if there is not at least the intent for it to last forever? This is the crowning achievement in latter-day saint life and what comes after that is "enduring to the end" or as I like to say "enjoying to the end". If you can't enjoy being married well, there's not much point in being married! As scripture says, "man is that he might have joy!"

1030 last night I'm watching the basketball at the Olympics. Margot had gone to bed already. Miriam  was in fearful and tearful anticipation  of a wonderful change in her life.

At 3.30 this morning,  I had a realisation that  this step, from premarital life, to marital life, in a way, mirrors our step from our premotal life, into mortality. Continuing to live with your earthly parents also resembles continuing to live with your Heavenly Parents. It's like living in the Garden of Eden, everything is provided for you. Just as our Heavenly Mother and Father thought it wise for us to progress by leaving our Heavenly Home, and just as Eve and eventually Adam (typical male, a bit slow on the uptake), Miriam and Taylor are now taking the step in life that needs to be taken, for their eternal progression. Man and woman can only attain a certain level of maturity by continuing to live a single life. Taking the step in to married life means we are more fully engaging in our Heavenly Parents plan for us. It is only through partnering in Gods way that we can fully experience the immense pain and joy that is required for us to become like Him. When we get married and become parents, we are not only becoming like our own earthly parents, but we are also becoming like our Heavenly  Parents. 

I could go on for a long time about this - unlike a sacrament meeting talk, I was not given a time limit - but I won't.  

We had heard a fair bit about Taylor before we got  to meet him. And I actually remember seeing Taylor in the Temple one Friday night when I was on duty there before he and Mim started dating.

Miriam did tell us about meeting Taylor once, I think a long time before she started dating him. She told us his name and said that he was a surfer. So I naturally thought that this guy had some potential as a son in law! It was sometime after this that I saw him in the Temple and he looked familiar, but I wasn't sure who he was. It was quite a lot later that I found out his grandfather and I are friends from working in the Temple together!

So, sometime after this she started to get to know Taylor a little bit more. I think one of their first dates was Taylor taking Mim for a surf lesson. She talked to us all excited as I think he had her getting to her feet in the first lesson, which was pretty exciting for her. I found out that I had been a pretty bad surf instructor (cause I'd never got her to her feet) and that Taylor was much better! I think its' essential that a young woman finds someone better than her Dad to marry!

This was in the days of on and off lockdowns last year. Margot and I were meant to be going on a mission and Miriam decided to go to live in Melbourne as we were meant to be leaving sometime early last year. Living in Melbourne made it much more convenient for Miriam to socialize in Melbourne and go out on dates. There were a lots of guys that were wanting to take Mim out on dates and I think that Taylors surf lessons helped him rise to the top of the heap.

So after quite a few dates, it came about that Miriam decided to invite Taylor down to Lara to meet us. This was after there was the big metro/regional divide with lockdowns and I had done a "rescue mission" to get Mim out of Melbourne and back down to Lara. So when Taylor came to meet us we weren't in lockdown, and we all still getting used to the social distancing thing.

On his first visit I realized that Taylor was very much a stickler for the Covid rules. He  came to the front door and he didn't want to come inside.  My natural  reflex when meeting someone is to shake hands. I tried to shake his hand and it seemed that he did a standing backwards jump that almost landed him back at his car! They went for a drive but then it poured rain so they came back to our place and I think Mim must have talked Taylor in to coming inside, and that we were pretty safe. I think even came inside and ha dinner with us. Is that right Margot?

With Taylor being so conscientious about following the Covid rules, I didn't bother asking him if he knew the 13th Article of Faith, which I'd always joked with Miriam about. We'd listened to a talk once by one of the General Authorities of the Church, and his custom was to ask his daughters suitors if they had it memorised at least up to the "chaste" and "virtuous" bit. They didn't have to know past that, as long and they knew "we believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous" that was good enough!

So for about the last year  we've had the pleasure of having Taylor coming to our place every second weekend. He's  become the son we never had! As I've always been outnumbered at home, it's been good to have another male around the house. His opinion was useful when Margot knitted me a rainbow coloured beanie. I asked him if it was cool or gay. He said it was sort of cool, but maybe a bit borderline, so I've been careful about where I wear that one.

Taylor has obviously been well brought up. He's always happy to help with the dishes or cooking and I'm sure Miriam will be keen to see him keep up the good work there. This reminds me of the old saying, about going in to marriage. Before you get married keep your eyes wide open. After your marriage keep your eyes half shut. You'll find in living together that there will be things that you didn't really know each other as well as you thought. There'll be things that will drive you crazy if you let them. That's why it's sometimes easier just to ignore those crazy little things. Worry about the big things, not the little things.

Here's the big thing, and I think you both (Miriam and Taylor) know this. Begin and end the day in prayer together.  Never go to sleep if you're angry with each other, especially if it's about some triviality, which most disagreements are. You can't be praying together if you are angry. 

In conclusion, I'm very happy to be welcoming Taylor in to our family. He loves surfing and so do I. He loves watching his sports on TV and so do I. He loves serving in the Church and so do I. He loves Miriam and so do I!

I must say before I finish that we have also very much enjoyed getting to know Morry and Joelle) (Taylor's parents. We've been out to dinner a couple of times, we've been surfing together. If you hadn't worked it our yet, Morry and I are very similar. Two short bald LDS blokes who love surfing. Two big men trapped in little blokes bodies. Two blokes punching well above their weights, as the saying goes. And now we have Taylor punching above his weight!

Thanks again everyone for being here, and I 'm sure you'll all join me in wishing Taylor and Miriam all the best for their future.