Cliff Slade - my talk for Cliff at his funeral - Clifford Elliot Slade 20th November 1952 - 3rd December 2021
I think I
might preface my remarks about Cliff today by briefly relating what has
transpired over the last few months. Some of you might have heard Cliff refer
to me as Muzz, and we did a lot of things together. Late June we got bad backs together.
We both had MRI’s we both had cortisone shots, and physio treatment, and I
started to get better, but Cliff seemed to be taking longer to get better. In
fact, he seemed to be getting worse. He was really struggling with the pain. It
didn’t matter what he did, he was in pain. He was around our place one day and
he sat down trying the special back support I had bought which I thought was
fantastic. It didn’t ease his pain. I had also been given an inversion table,
and that was really helping me. Cliff wanted to try that too. He got on it and
laid back a little bit and it seemed to increase his pain. He wanted to lay
back further thinking he might help, but I talked him out of that.
Margot
and I went out to visit Cliff and Sandy one day and Sandy greeted us at the
front door. Cliff came around from the side gate really struggling. He made it
to me and just sort of threw his arms around me as much for support as for a
greeting I think! He was looking really old. The pain seemed to be really
taking a toll on him.
The
various medical people he was seeing couldn’t seem to help. He felt so bad one
day he asked Sandy to drive him to hospital. I may not have the time frame
exactly right here, but it was pretty soon after that the medicos diagnosed
cancer and Cliff started calling people to let them know. He said to me then
that he didn’t think he would last long. Surgery was not on offer for his
condition, but chemotherapy was suggested. One of the doctors asked Cliff was
his plans were for next year and he told them that a big caravanning trip up
through central Australia was on the cards, and they said that he should be
able to do that. That gave him, and the rest of us, a bit of hope. So, he
decided to go ahead with the chemo. They sent him home, which he was thrilled
about. I remember being out at Plains Road and reading all the side effects on
the box of chemo tablets and thinking that it would be a miracle if anyone
survived after taking it, but it did help his back pain pretty quickly, so
again we had a bit of hope.
(Cliff
was a bit of a sook too you know. Several times after his dogs had died I
witnessed him shedding a tear. Please join in with me. If you cry when I cry
and laugh when I laugh I won’t feel so lonely up here. This is not unfamiliar
territory for me. I’ve spoken at lots of funerals. Sometimes I get through it
without a tear, sometimes I cry. It’s hard to predict what might happen! )
Cliff and
I first met when working at the Footscray District Office of Telecom Australia
in 1986. A co-worker, Karen Robertson, introduced us as we were all
getting off the train from Lara one day, on our way to work. It didn’t
take long before we found out we were both keen surfers, so we started
surfing together on Saturday mornings. I can't remember when I
first met Sandy and Jacqui and Pete, who were just little tackers at the
time, but it wasn't very long after I first met Cliff.
In
addition to surfing together, Cliff and I tried to play tennis and
golf together. I say tried, because I was pretty terrible at golf and
pretty average at tennis, whereas Cliff was quietly competent at
both. He was the sort of bloke who could do just about anything and would
try just about everything If it was something he could do with his family
and friends, all the better. One of his favourite things was shooting rabbits
with his Dad.
While
working at Footscray together, I would sometimes drive rather than take the
train. Cliff would come home with me rather than catch the train. This was when
we'd have long chats about almost anything.
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He's a
loyal friend. Keeps in touch with a wide range of people - Scouting friends,
work friends, and strangers who became friends. I'm sure lots of people think
that Cliff is their best friend and he would treat all his
friends as if they were best friends. |
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| Cliff and Graeme Aydon circa 1997 |
Cliff
loves to introduce his friends to each other, especially if they have something
in common. I remember first meeting Graeme Aydon and family camping at
Kennett River. Cliff, Graham and I soon became an inseparable surfing trio.
Nick and Bruiser and others were later added to that trio and we soon became an
instant crowd wherever we hit the water. It was a social event, not just a
surf.
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| Cliff with daughter Jacqui and son Pete |
Cliff is
a dedicated family man. You couldn't meet a more loyal hubby and devoted
father. They had regular family holidays and activities. Not only when the kids
were young but still even up until Covid stopped it last year there was a yearly
ski trip to Mt Buller.
I
compiled at bit of a list of "All the Things Cliff Can
Do" - this is not complete.
I think
we all know people in slightly different ways. Maybe some of these things might
surprise you, maybe you know some things about Cliff that might surprise
me.
Even
though Cliff and I are the best of friends, in many ways we are complete
opposites.
If the
family needed a new piece of furniture, he'd make it! And he’d do a good job of
it too! I'd pick it up on the side of the road or off Gumtree. I know that at
Plains Rd, but now also at the Watson home in Belmont, and most likely all the
way over in Perth at Pete and Jana's home, you will use some piece of furniture
that Cliff made. That’s something to treasure!
He's a
complete neat freak - almost annoying so at times, but everything has its place
and it needs to be there! And he really looked after stuff as well, almost
fanatically. If I ever borrow stuff (like a tool - borrowed his chainsaw
recently) from Cliffy, I always make sure I'd clean it up really well before I
returned it. Now in the rare event that Cliff and Sandy had a
"barney", Cliffs "over neatness" would usually be the cause
of it. He'd turn up at my place on the way to go for a surf or whatever, and
he'd be looking a bit down, and he'd tell me about the "barney". And
I'd say, "well you're a bit of an idiot aren't you mate" to which he
would completely agree and tell me how he couldn’t bear to live without Sandy.
If we go
surfing in his car, there's always plenty of space to sit. It's like no-one has
been in his car for months. He jumps in my car and I have to almost sweep it
out just so he can find somewhere sit down.
And
punctuality? Cliff was the sort of bloke who would almost invariably be 5 minutes
early. I'm the opposite and I expect everyone to turn up 5 minutes late. If I’m
five minutes late it actually means I’m ten minutes early. If Cliff did turn up
exactly on time, that meant he was actually 5 minutes late. He was very patient
with me though.
Sports
and thrill seeking -
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Surfing. This has been his passion, his number one past-time for many,
many years. He was a wave catching machine. He always road a pretty big board.
I could never keep up with him. He was actually a very good body surfer too,
which I always struggled with.
But he's
done lots of other things.
I know he
went skydiving once. Jumping out of a perfectly good aeroplane was not
something that ever appealed to me, but it was something on Cliff's list of
exciting things to do in life.
He went bungee jumping in NZ too. He was probably in his mid fifties when he thought
this was a great idea.
Cliff,
Sandy and Pete went hiking to Mt Everest base camp. Not everyone does
this you know, and it’s quite an achievement, but again, this was something on
Cliff's list of exciting things to do.
He went
swimming with whale sharks in Western Australia. We all know this is a great
experience and not terribly dangerous but he also went diving
with white pointers in South Australia! He invited me of course. I know
it was in one of those cages, but a hungry white pointer is a hungry white pointer!
Swimming.
We'd swim together to help keep us fit for surfing. Staring at a black line is
fairly boring, but this was something that Cliff was pretty consistent with for
a long time, and for Cliff it became a social event when I went along with him,
which was pretty frequently. Even back when we worked at Footscray, we would
often go for a lunchtime swim. It was amazing how many times we were swimming
at Waterworld in Norlane or at Lara that there was someone there who knew
Cliff. He knew stacks of people and it was very rare to hear Cliff speak ill of
anyone. If he did, I'd really take notice, and take a wide berth from whoever
it was. Cliff's word is good enough for me!
Cliff
was always incredibly fit. When doing laps at Waterworld, we would aim for 40
laps (one klm). Because I was always 5 minutes late and he was always 5 minutes
early, he always had a 10 minute head start on me. So, by the time I was
getting close to 40 laps, he had probably done 40. I would struggle to know how
many laps I had done, running out of fingers and toes. I’d say “how many laps
have we done Cliffy” and he would always know exactly. He'd just keep on going,
keeping me company in the pool until I did my 40. I would never catch up to
him!
Then
there is tennis. We all know what a great tennis player Sandy is. Cliff is no
slouch on the tennis court either, but his great achievement in tennis was
building a tennis court on the block. He built a tennis court! (who does that?
Cliffy does!)
Bike riding
- he bought a really nice Trek bike many years ago to use on special occasions.
It still looks brand new. He had a series of "struggle buggies"
as he used to call them, old bikes that he would pick up cheap somewhere,
maybe at the Douro St recycling centre, and he uses those to ride to the
station to get to work which he did all the years he worked in Melbourne. The
good bike is never used for such mundane purposes! Not like me - I use
the best bike all the time and it looks like it!
One of
the key things with all these activities - He likes to do them with other
people. The social element is just as important for Cliff - friends,
family, maybe even strangers, as he has the ability to make friends with anyone
very quickly.
Cliffy
loved to cook! He is a recipe following sort of cook – very methodical. I’m the
opposite, just sort of throwing it all together. I took him out some of my
bread recently and he loved it and wanted the recipe and I don’t have a written
recipe so I just had to make it up a bit, but he wrote down every word I said
and then a few days later had me check it to make sure he got it right. He
would sometimes bring home recipes from one of the V-line girls and treat us to
a dinner.
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| Kathy, Fred and Cliff speaking at their mum Joan's funeral |
Cliff is
also a very good public speaker. Hearing him speak at Jacqui and Brads wedding,
later his dad's, and then his mum's funerals, I realised that in his working life Cliff
could have achieved much more than he did. He is a highly
intelligent man (if you've ever played board games like Scrabble with him
you would know that), but work is not a priority for Cliff. Before he started
work at V-line, he was offered a contract on big money with Telstra and he was
tossing up between that and the V-line job. I know he asked various people for
their opinions about what he should do, and I think we all said the same thing,
which probably just confirmed what he has already decided. Family and
friends are what matters most, and work is just a means to an end and not and
end in itself. I think lots of us, especially me, can learn from that.
Cliff and Sandy had lots of time together as a result of that decision. And
Cliff and I had lots of surfing time.
As soon
as you meet him you know that Cliff Slade is a bloke you can trust. His
word is his bond. Put your life in his hands and you know you're safe! Unless
he was inviting you to swim with sharks perhaps!
Even
though Cliffy is not religious in the regular church going sort of way (like
me) he exhibits a quiet spirituality that is shown in his love for family and
friends and evidence of his good Aussie post-war Christian upbringing. For
those younger people here today, family and friends, if you want a good role
model, pick Uncle Cliff or Poppy Cliff, whatever he is to you.
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| Cliff, Sandy, Margot and I at a Church ball. |
I'm
going to change gear now and talk about Cliff in a future tense. I
believe that Cliff is with us now, waiting to see where his earthly
remains will be laid to rest. He's a neat freak, remember! I personally believe
that through the resurrection of Jesus Christ all mankind will be resurrected
and until that time Cliffy will be anxiously awaiting the arrival of all
his family and friends, but most especially Sandy, to have a great family
reunion, where he'll once again give everyone a big hug and tell you how
happy he is to see you. Hang on to that hope, it will make life easier for you
as you get older and see your friends and family leave this life to progress on
into the next phase of existence.
I’m going to close now with a well known quote from
Ralph Waldo Emerson, which I think sums up Cliff pretty well -
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of
intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of
honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty,
to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a
healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one
life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” —Ralph
Waldo Emerson
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| The hearse about to leave for the crematorium. |
(Because of time constraints I gave a very brief version of this talk)
Such a beautiful tribute Murray. Well done
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